I'm So Over Cancer

Yesterday, I just found out my dear friend Alicia successfully went through her final cancer surgery to remove a tumor in her spinal cord. Reading the post from her mom "Alicia is so over cancer", gave me chills because she is now free of cancer after an almost two year battle. Hallelujah is all I can say. She is one of the most inspirational women I have ever known and I am so blessed that I can say she is one of my friends. I had lunch with her last week and her strength, faith and beautiful smile left me feeling renewed and refreshed. It just reminded me that God has put the most amazing people in my life and I am thankful for that every day.

I had my reconstruction surgery a few weeks ago and I am healing really well. Now if I could just get the rest of my body to look as good as the top, I'll be all set! I am thankful to be done with all the surgeries and to still be cancer free. I will be monitored often (at least every 3 months), but thankful that the big stuff is over with. I can already tell that 2010 is going to be a great year.

Also, I am working on a site that I hope will help increase donations to charity including the breast cancer 3-day, which I will be a part of again this year. Stay tuned!

I crossed the finish line--THANK YOU

I just wanted to thank you for your support this past year and to let you know that I made it through the 3-day walk--all 60 miles! Whether you sent me cards/emails during the past year, made me dinner, kept me company at chemotherapy, held my hand after surgery, called to make sure radiation wasn't tiring me out, sent me flowers, said a prayer, decided to join Team TLC, attended one of our fundraising events, or made a donation towards my fight so no one will have to go through a year like I did--you were the reason I was able to walk this year! From the bottom of my heart, I thank you. I can't tell you what it was like to cross the finish line with my team on Sunday. It was the experience of a lifetime and it was so nice to have friends and family there to support me! I was honored that I was nominated to carry the flag Honoring the Future during opening and closing ceremonies and at the end of the closing ceremonies, Ava came up on stage with me and reminded me once again why I need to fight so hard to find a cure for this disease. She gave me the biggest hug and I could tell she was very proud of her mommy! A little recap from the weekend: At 5:15 a.m. on Friday, we arrived at the Henry Ford Museum to meet up with the team for the Opening Ceremony. It was dark and everyone showed up with so much excitement and a lot of caffeine! I was asked to carry the flag Honoring the future and with tears streaming down my face I walked along the path and was greeted by all 1800 walkers. It was a surreal moment. In the middle, they have 8 survivors that hold hands in a circle representing all survivors and the center represents those that we have lost. It was emotional to realize that not everyone survives breast cancer--I hope that we can change this. We started walking through Dearborn and Dearborn Heights on the first day and it was so nice to see the community come together and cheer us on--they were thanking us, we were thanking them and it made the 20 miles go by very quickly. Plus, at the last cheering station, when I needed it most, Ben and my girls were there to cheer me on with posters I had made with them. They were so cute in their matching pink outfits! When we got back to camp, the Romulus football team was there to greet us and help us set up our tent. It amazed me that these young high school boys were so willing to lend a hand with smiles on their faces the whole time--definitely not the same boys that I want to high school with :) After, it was a sea of 800+ pink tents and it was beautiful. My friend Kiley and I stayed in the same 6.5 X 6.5 tent and laughed about how we slept better in the tent than we do at home because it was actually quieter. On Saturday, we walked through beautiful Livonia neighborhoods and downtown Plymouth. The people of Plymouth were exceptional and it was like walking into a party! They dyed the water in the fountain pink in the center of the park and people lined the streets cheering us on. Ben and the girls met us at the park and it was nice to know that I could see they missed me--especially Ben. I think he appreciated me a lot more after he realized how hard it is to get the girls together on your own (Ava was missing her shoes, he forgot sunscreen, snacks, wipes...) Glad to see that Mommy is still needed! After the short visit, we continued on our route. At one point, Kiley and I got a second wind and started dancing and skipping down side streets--most have been all those popsicles. By the time we made it back to camp, we were exhausted and my knee wasn't very happy. Then they asked all of us to line the pathway so the last walker could come in and we could all greet them. They don't celebrate the first walker, they celebrate the last because and they represent "One More Day." It was a very touching moment because that is what we are all fighting for "One More Day." On Sunday, we were excited because we got to walk through Ann Arbor, and we took pictures by the "Big House," sang the fight song and we even walked off the path a little bit to take pictures in front of our sorrority house, Alpha Phi. It was fun to walk through all the areas I was so familiar with. I kept thinking when I was there 10 years ago, I would have never thought I would be walking through as a breast cancer survivor. I was thankful that many of my best friends from college were on the journey with me. It was a beautiful walk even though the temperature was 90+ and very hot. I had to have my knee wrapped at one point because it started to give on me and was getting very painful and I was upset that after a year of chemo, surgery and radiation--now was the time my body was thinking of failing. Fortunately, my mind and spirit won out and after my knee was wrapped I persevered--I told my friends that I would have crawled to the finish line if I had to! The last mile was a time of reflection, it was bittersweet-I was happy to be done walking the 60 miles, but I was sad the experience was ending because it really was "the happiest place on earth." Plus, it was a nice little break from the hustle and bustle of being a working mommy--not much time for yourself. I was so happy that I had my friends with me to be part of this journey--from the time I was diagnosed until the finish line. They are all so special to me and I am so glad that we were able to share this experience together. After we locked arms and crossed, Ben and the girls were there to greet me again. I gave them all lots of hugs and kisses. It was so nice to see all the people greeting the 1800 walkers--I couldn't believe how many people there were. It really was spectacular to see. After, I headed behind the stage so I could carry the flag honoring the Future. I was sad that I couldn't be with my teammates as they marched in, but I couldn't have been prouder of what they accomplished this weekend :) Backstage, I met with many survivors and we retold the stories of the weekend. I was particularly touched by one story of a husband that was walking for his 5 children and was carrying the Children honor flag. His wife Luby walked the 3-day event last year and was the pillar of strength and then 3 months later she lost her battle with breast cancer. This year her husband Don Luby walked in remembrance of her with her team "Luby's Boobies." I hope to see them again next year. I was so happy when I was up on stage and my Aunt Jean and cousin Erica came over to see me and then shortly after my Dad and Ava came around--it was the highlight for me. Ava looked at me from below and was so excited so I was glad I was able to bring her up on stage and hold her--I told her "I'm doing this for you and Kalyn. You are my future." After I walked off the stage, it seemed in the blink of an eye, the event was over and the crowds of friends and loved one's quickly dissipated. I was sad that I couldn't find many of my family members that had come to support me that day, but thank you so much for being there for me--it honestly meant the world to me and I will never forget your support! We will be having a TEAM TLC Celebration event at Blackfinn in Royal Oak this Friday, August 21 from 6-10PM. We are celebrating that Team TLC walked 720 miles (60 miles each), got 28 blisters, and raised $32,000+ for a cure. A $10 donation to the 3-day at the door will get you all-you-can-eat appetizers, $3 any drink you can think of, and a fun night out at the hottest bar in town. We get a private area overlooking the rest of the bar with our own bartender so even if you arrive closer to 10 pm just tell them you are there for the TEAM TLC Celebration and you can get in our private area. Please feel free to pass along to anyone and everyone. We hope to see you there. If you missed the first one (over 120 people), you won't want to miss this one! Thanks again for your support. I can tell you I am officially a 4-month survivor and I am looking forward to walking again next year so that we can continue the fight for a cure.

I Rang The Bell

Every day for the past 6 weeks at 7:12 a.m. I would go to Beaumont, lay on a cold table, breath through a contraption that forced me to hold my breath for 20 seconds at a time, hold perfectly still for 12 minutes and then I would get off the table and head home. Every few days, you would hear a bell ring, which meant someone had completed their radiation and when they would appear in the waiting room, we would all sit there wishing it was us. I counted down the days until I would be able to ring the bell and finish another chapter of my cancer journey. Today was that day. When the nurse gave me my "certificate of completion" and asked if I wanted to ring the bell--I gave a resounding "YES!" I am so happy to be done with radiation. I just started getting an uncomfortable sunburn the last week so overall it wasn't that bad. The hardest part was getting up every day and driving 30 minutes to the hospital and after a week or so, it just became part of my routine--although I can definitely say that I won't miss it. For now, I will enjoy having a few weeks off from seeing a doctor and going on a much needed vacation.

It's Spring

Signs of spring are everywhere and I am enjoying every minute of it. The grass is green, the Bradford pear trees are in bloom and my hair is finally starting to grow back--right now, I seriously look like a chia pet :)

I have been at the doctor's often in the past few weeks since my surgery. I felt really good after surgery, but my doctors reminded me that I needed to take it easy. So when they said do nothing, they meant do nothing. That was very difficult for me, but I listened to the doctors and I am now finally able to start getting back in the swing of things. I am still not supposed to lift a lot, but I have full range of motion and I am in no pain. It's amazing how quickly a month just flew by--I still can't believe it is May already.

I did find out that I will need 6 weeks of radiation that I will begin in June. Since I am so young and they still believe there was lymph node involvement, they want to take all the precautions they can. According to the doctors, the radiation is the easiest of everything so far so I am ready for it. Just not looking forward to having to go every day for 6 weeks during the summer.

When I met with my oncologist for the first time since my surgery and he looked at the results he said "You know when people respond to chemo like you did and have no evidence after chemo, it is like you had early stage cancer and your chance for recurrence is very low." I pray he is right. I try not to think about recurrence--I am doing everything now to hopefully prevent it from ever coming back. I was glad to reach the top of the mountain, but I do not want to climb it again.

I'm a Survivor

At 3:37 p.m. (the exact time I got my diagnosis) today I got a call that again would change my life, but this time it was all good! My doctor told me that I am officially cancer free. There was no remaining cancer in any of the breast tissue or the 14 lymph nodes they removed-she said my pathology report couldn't be better. It was one of the happiest moments in my life--I beat cancer! Bring it on :)

I will find out next week if I need to have radiation (there is now a possibility I won't--praying that the doctors agree to no radiation.)

I am still feeling great after surgery. Today I went the whole day without pain medicine. Still trying to take it easy, but I am getting a little cabin fever. I hope the weather starts to get nice so I can get outside a little.

Thanks again for all the prayers-they worked!

Dancing Again

They say that the bite is worse than the sting and I now believe this to be true. The week leading up to my surgery was probably one of the hardest I have had to go through. There were so many unknowns as I had never had surgery before and I was finding myself second guessing my decision to go more aggressive. The night before surgery I just sat in the rocking chair that I had used to nurse both my babies and just sobbed. I wasn't just losing a breast, I was losing a part of my motherhood and it was harder on me than I expected it to be. Before I went to bed I just prayed to God that He would help me through the sense of loss that I was feeling. After I said the prayer, I was able to drift off to sleep.

On Tuesday, I felt much better and as we headed to the hospital, I knew I had made the right decision. When we got there, they said it would be about an hour wait and then I would head back and they would prep me. We were just getting settled in when a nurse came out and said Teresa Spencer you can come back now (the surgery before mine got cancelled). I didn't have much time to get nervous because you get back to the Operating Room prep area and they just start the routine surgery prep-you get changed, they start IV, you talk to the anesthesiologist, you talk to the doctor, your husband comes back and you kiss goodbye, they start administering the anesthesia and then you wake up and it's over. It really felt like it was 15 minutes from start to finish even though the surgery lasted about 3 hours. When I woke up, I immediately looked down at my chest and was pleasantly suprised--it didn't look much different! I had such wonderful surgeons and because of this I was able to keep my nipple and I only have about a two inch incision below my breast and one under my arm (where they took out the lymph nodes.) I also had a tissue expander put in so when I woke up I still had a chest. I was so excited because really the anticipation was the worst of it and although I will have one more cosmetic procedure done to even me out in a few months, I can definitely see that I will look better than before and I couldn't be happier. My pain has been really minimal and today I feel 100%--I even danced with Ava to Mamma Mia songs. Just trying to take it easy so that I don't cause myself any pain. I am thankful that God led me in the right direction to two wonderful surgeons. He has been with me every step of the way. Next week, I will get my results of all my lymph nodes and I am just praying that they don't find evidence of cancer in them. For now, I am just enjoying being back home and being a mommy again.

Thanks to everyone for your support and prayers.

Wishes Do Come True

I realize now that my posts are getting farther and farther apart... When I was first diagnosed, cancer was wrapped around every part of my day and every thought I had. I couldn't escape it so writing this blog was my therapy and helped relieve a lot of the anxiety I was having in the beginning. I thought I would write in it every day. Now, 5 months later and I see I haven't posted in a month. This is a good thing as cancer is no longer a part of my life like it used to be and most of the time I don't even think about it. One of my best friend's cousins called me yesterday, Karen, and she had breast cancer a few years ago. When I was asking her about some of her treatments and the decisions she made four years ago, she said you know I can't even remember some of them. I hope that is me in four years!

After the nurse removed my final chemo drip on March 4, I felt such a sense of accomplishment. They say chemo is the worst of it--I am holding them to it. I have to say it was by far my worst chemo treatment yet and for one whole day I could barely move. Fortunately, after that day I felt immensely better and by Sunday I was chasing the girls around the house again :) By the end I started to have the pavlov's dog response so I would get a headache and feel nauseous (even though up until the 6th treatment I never got sick) hours before I ever stepped foot in the hospital. I am even more determined to find a cure for this disease because I don't want to go through it again and I don't want anyone else either--especially my two precious girls. The good news is I am done and I just pray that I am 100% healed of cancer.

So what do you do after you just climbed the tallest mountain or beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl...you go to Disney World. So two weeks ago, we headed down to Florida for a week and went to Disney World for 3 days. I have to admit the trip was probably more for me, then the girls, but they both seemed to love it and it was honestly the best trip I have had with them so far. It was all about them and I loved taking them to dinner shows and to see the characters and to go swimming in the pool. I felt like their big sister and I am glad they seemed to love it as much as I did when I was a little girl. I love Disney and everything it stands for "because after all wishes do come true."

When I got back from Florida, the reality of what lies ahead hit me pretty hard. For a month, I had nothing holding me back-no 4 hour chemo sessions, no 2-3 days to recover, no shots... Now I have another big hurdle and maybe even bigger than chemo--surgery. After a few weeks of waying the pros and cons of each surgical option, I decided to actually go more aggressive and to get a modified masectomy. Basically, I keep my breast and my nipple, but they remove all the breast tissue and then I will get tissue expanders and eventually implants. It was the most difficult decision I have ever made in my life and even now I wonder if I made the right one. I just don't want to go through the diagnosis of breast cancer again and since I am so young, my lifetime recurrence rate with lumpectomy is a lot higher than with a masectomy. I am looking at the bright side and now I will have perky boobs forever.

I have leaned on God a lot while making my decisions over the past month and I know He will be with me every step of the way.