Learning to Dance In the Rain

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."

I am not sure who wrote this quote, but it is what greeted me when I went to my doctor's office on Friday. It pretty much sums it up for me. The past month, I definitely danced! As you can see it has been about a month since my last blog update and that is because I have been very busy with all that December brings. As I have mentioned, I don't want cancer to slow me down and I am so glad to say that it hasn't. I think I hosted about 5 parties including a three year old birthday party, Christmas day, a gathering for all of our friends and a few more smaller get-togethers. I loved every minute of it! I was fortunate that I had my chemo treatment on December 10 so that I was 100% the whole holiday season.

Ben and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary on December 13 and it was everything I could have hoped for. A nice day for just Ben and I to be together--we went to breakfast, the spa for 6 hours, a movie and dinner. If someone would have asked us, where we would be in 5 years, we wouldn't have believed them, but I am still the happiest I have ever been. We are right where we want to be and we have two of the most precious little girls and a beautiful home and neighborhood. I still feel blessed to be Mrs. Spencer!

Christmas is one of my favorite times of year. I love gift giving and decorating for the holidays and now with two little one's I love creating new memories and traditions. It was fun this year to go and get a real tree with Ava. We had fake trees for a few years in our other home because we either just got married, were preparing for a baby, or just had a baby. I vowed that once we moved, we would get a real tree. I just love the smell and the experience you can only get with a real tree. So Ava, Ben, my dad and I headed off to the middle of nowhere to find the perfect tree. I spotted it right away and said that is it! It was a perfectly naturally shaped, Douglas Fir. Getting into the house was another story...When you find a tree in the woods, it is always larger than you can even imagine. Ours was about 8 feet in diameter and after we finally got it in our house (a few wall scrapes did occur), we stood it up in the middle of our living room and realized that our tree was as big as our great room. We thought we would have to have a tree in the middle of the room or put it in our front lawn. I thought it was hysterical, but Ben didn't think it was as comical as he started breaking out in hives from the needles. Finally, we decided we had to give the tree a "hair cut" and Ben got the hedge trimmers and trimmed off about 3 feet from the sides. Then we spent about an hour rearranging furniture to find the perfect spot. When it was all up, it was the most beautiful tree I had ever seen even with its new trim. Honestly, wall scrapes and all it is probably my favorite Christmas memory from this year and next year I think we can get a bigger one!

The girls had a wonderful Christmas and Santa was very good to them. Ava got lots of barbies and a vanity for her room and Kalyn got blocks and books and baby doll. It was fun to have Santa come to our new home--he had an easier time now that we have a chimney and fireplace :)

It was easy to forget about cancer all through the holidays. We don't really talk about it and life pretty much goes along the same path. On Sunday, we had Ava's third birthday and our family came to spend the day with her. I wasn't sure if I would be up for another party, but I decided to pull one together for her and I am glad I did. She had a great time and loved being the center of attention-lucky her we sang Happy Birthday to her twice! After the party, it was probably the first time I had cried since my initial diagnosis. I realized now I would have to deal with the cancer again. It was so easy to forget...but that doesn't change the reality of it-I still have cancer.

On New Year's Eve, I had my third round of chemo. When they asked me about this appointment date, I remember thinking briefly should I postpone until the 2nd, but I knew I wanted to stay on the same schedule and get it done with as soon as possible. Ben's dad went with me as Ben stayed home to play with the girls. I went and saw my doctor and he said I was doing exceptionally well. My side effects have been fairly minimal and my white blood cell counts are still good-I am still healthy! After you meet the doctor, you go into the chemo room with all the other chemo patients. I actually feel very comfortable in the room now and I am glad that I have opted to stay in the large room rather than to get a private room. I feel a sense of community and even though I might not talk with the other patients, there is a special unspoken bond. Truthfully, I didn't think I would have any visitors on New Year's Eve, but to my surprise my girlfriend's Kiley and Joey came. It was so wonderful to see them and honestly it makes 3 1/2 hours feel like 30 minutes. I think they are getting more comfortable with their surroundings too! I told them about my New Year's resolutions. They are simple.
1) Cancer free by summer
2) Focus more on Self--I often put my children, Ben and work first and then sacrifice working out, getting sleep, eating, etc. I think if I am happier/healthier, then my kids and Ben will be happier. (This will be a hard one for me!) This is basically another way of saying-I need to work out!
3) Walk in the three-day breast cancer walk--get friends to do it with me! It is coming August 14 to Michigan and I plan to sign up soon! It's important for me to help in finding a cure for breast cancer--however I can. I'll post more info. on this soon.

After chemo, Ben's dad and I went to lunch and then we went to the store so I could get some last minute things for New Year's Eve! I still had lots to celebrate. We had a wonderful New Year's with Dreu, Kiley, Caden and Sedona at our home and I felt great the whole time. We had shrimp and crab lakes and brownie sundae's for dessert. I even made it to 12:05 (and then went right to bed.) It was fun to celebrate the New Year with them-we have sort of made it one of our new traditions and we are so blessed to have them in our lives.

So I am officially half-way done with my chemo treatments--yea! This round was my hardest of all. I was pretty wiped out all weekend, but I was thankful that Ben, my mom and Grandma were around to help me out. The good news is that I am now feeling great and dancing again...