They say that the bite is worse than the sting and I now believe this to be true. The week leading up to my surgery was probably one of the hardest I have had to go through. There were so many unknowns as I had never had surgery before and I was finding myself second guessing my decision to go more aggressive. The night before surgery I just sat in the rocking chair that I had used to nurse both my babies and just sobbed. I wasn't just losing a breast, I was losing a part of my motherhood and it was harder on me than I expected it to be. Before I went to bed I just prayed to God that He would help me through the sense of loss that I was feeling. After I said the prayer, I was able to drift off to sleep.
On Tuesday, I felt much better and as we headed to the hospital, I knew I had made the right decision. When we got there, they said it would be about an hour wait and then I would head back and they would prep me. We were just getting settled in when a nurse came out and said Teresa Spencer you can come back now (the surgery before mine got cancelled). I didn't have much time to get nervous because you get back to the Operating Room prep area and they just start the routine surgery prep-you get changed, they start IV, you talk to the anesthesiologist, you talk to the doctor, your husband comes back and you kiss goodbye, they start administering the anesthesia and then you wake up and it's over. It really felt like it was 15 minutes from start to finish even though the surgery lasted about 3 hours. When I woke up, I immediately looked down at my chest and was pleasantly suprised--it didn't look much different! I had such wonderful surgeons and because of this I was able to keep my nipple and I only have about a two inch incision below my breast and one under my arm (where they took out the lymph nodes.) I also had a tissue expander put in so when I woke up I still had a chest. I was so excited because really the anticipation was the worst of it and although I will have one more cosmetic procedure done to even me out in a few months, I can definitely see that I will look better than before and I couldn't be happier. My pain has been really minimal and today I feel 100%--I even danced with Ava to Mamma Mia songs. Just trying to take it easy so that I don't cause myself any pain. I am thankful that God led me in the right direction to two wonderful surgeons. He has been with me every step of the way. Next week, I will get my results of all my lymph nodes and I am just praying that they don't find evidence of cancer in them. For now, I am just enjoying being back home and being a mommy again.
Thanks to everyone for your support and prayers.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Wishes Do Come True
I realize now that my posts are getting farther and farther apart... When I was first diagnosed, cancer was wrapped around every part of my day and every thought I had. I couldn't escape it so writing this blog was my therapy and helped relieve a lot of the anxiety I was having in the beginning. I thought I would write in it every day. Now, 5 months later and I see I haven't posted in a month. This is a good thing as cancer is no longer a part of my life like it used to be and most of the time I don't even think about it. One of my best friend's cousins called me yesterday, Karen, and she had breast cancer a few years ago. When I was asking her about some of her treatments and the decisions she made four years ago, she said you know I can't even remember some of them. I hope that is me in four years!
After the nurse removed my final chemo drip on March 4, I felt such a sense of accomplishment. They say chemo is the worst of it--I am holding them to it. I have to say it was by far my worst chemo treatment yet and for one whole day I could barely move. Fortunately, after that day I felt immensely better and by Sunday I was chasing the girls around the house again :) By the end I started to have the pavlov's dog response so I would get a headache and feel nauseous (even though up until the 6th treatment I never got sick) hours before I ever stepped foot in the hospital. I am even more determined to find a cure for this disease because I don't want to go through it again and I don't want anyone else either--especially my two precious girls. The good news is I am done and I just pray that I am 100% healed of cancer.
So what do you do after you just climbed the tallest mountain or beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl...you go to Disney World. So two weeks ago, we headed down to Florida for a week and went to Disney World for 3 days. I have to admit the trip was probably more for me, then the girls, but they both seemed to love it and it was honestly the best trip I have had with them so far. It was all about them and I loved taking them to dinner shows and to see the characters and to go swimming in the pool. I felt like their big sister and I am glad they seemed to love it as much as I did when I was a little girl. I love Disney and everything it stands for "because after all wishes do come true."
When I got back from Florida, the reality of what lies ahead hit me pretty hard. For a month, I had nothing holding me back-no 4 hour chemo sessions, no 2-3 days to recover, no shots... Now I have another big hurdle and maybe even bigger than chemo--surgery. After a few weeks of waying the pros and cons of each surgical option, I decided to actually go more aggressive and to get a modified masectomy. Basically, I keep my breast and my nipple, but they remove all the breast tissue and then I will get tissue expanders and eventually implants. It was the most difficult decision I have ever made in my life and even now I wonder if I made the right one. I just don't want to go through the diagnosis of breast cancer again and since I am so young, my lifetime recurrence rate with lumpectomy is a lot higher than with a masectomy. I am looking at the bright side and now I will have perky boobs forever.
I have leaned on God a lot while making my decisions over the past month and I know He will be with me every step of the way.
After the nurse removed my final chemo drip on March 4, I felt such a sense of accomplishment. They say chemo is the worst of it--I am holding them to it. I have to say it was by far my worst chemo treatment yet and for one whole day I could barely move. Fortunately, after that day I felt immensely better and by Sunday I was chasing the girls around the house again :) By the end I started to have the pavlov's dog response so I would get a headache and feel nauseous (even though up until the 6th treatment I never got sick) hours before I ever stepped foot in the hospital. I am even more determined to find a cure for this disease because I don't want to go through it again and I don't want anyone else either--especially my two precious girls. The good news is I am done and I just pray that I am 100% healed of cancer.
So what do you do after you just climbed the tallest mountain or beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl...you go to Disney World. So two weeks ago, we headed down to Florida for a week and went to Disney World for 3 days. I have to admit the trip was probably more for me, then the girls, but they both seemed to love it and it was honestly the best trip I have had with them so far. It was all about them and I loved taking them to dinner shows and to see the characters and to go swimming in the pool. I felt like their big sister and I am glad they seemed to love it as much as I did when I was a little girl. I love Disney and everything it stands for "because after all wishes do come true."
When I got back from Florida, the reality of what lies ahead hit me pretty hard. For a month, I had nothing holding me back-no 4 hour chemo sessions, no 2-3 days to recover, no shots... Now I have another big hurdle and maybe even bigger than chemo--surgery. After a few weeks of waying the pros and cons of each surgical option, I decided to actually go more aggressive and to get a modified masectomy. Basically, I keep my breast and my nipple, but they remove all the breast tissue and then I will get tissue expanders and eventually implants. It was the most difficult decision I have ever made in my life and even now I wonder if I made the right one. I just don't want to go through the diagnosis of breast cancer again and since I am so young, my lifetime recurrence rate with lumpectomy is a lot higher than with a masectomy. I am looking at the bright side and now I will have perky boobs forever.
I have leaned on God a lot while making my decisions over the past month and I know He will be with me every step of the way.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
And Then There Was One...
It is hard to believe that in one day I will be done with my chemo treatments. It feels like just yesterday I was entering the infusion room for the first time as a chemo "newbie." Now, I feel like a veteran and now I walk in and find my favorite spot, say hi to the nurses and watch as other "newbies" come in looking numb as they enter the room for the first time. Although, I am anxious to get chemo over with, there is also this part that will miss it--not the drugs of course, but the time I got to spend uninterupted with my friends and family and my favorite nurse Ramona. It is a time I will always remember and I will always look at chemo as a fond memory because of this.
Overall, chemo wasn't as bad as I initially thought it would be. I remember when my surgeon said "There are three courses of treatment for breast cancer-surgery, radiation and chemo and you will need all three." I focused immediately on the chemo and replayed all the chemo scenes from movies--losing your hair, getting sick, lying in bed not being able to do anything. But honestly if everything goes as smoothly as chemo, I will feel very blessed. It hasn't been the easiest road-but I never got sick and although I would be a little tired, sometimes queasy and once in a while would get a headache, I still worked full time, ran after my two little girls and Ben, hosted lots of holiday parties, kept up with laundry, avoided the stomach flu... Bottom line--I survived chemo. And I hope everyone is right, If I can survive chemo, I can survive anything.
Please check out the amazing video my friend's Dreu and Kiley put together at my 5th chemo treatment that talks about my journey with breast cancer. We are doing the 3-day walk in August and are looking to raise $10,000 as a team. Our team name is TLC: Together Let's Fight Cancer (also used to be my initials before I got married.) http://www.youtube.com/cancer3day
Overall, chemo wasn't as bad as I initially thought it would be. I remember when my surgeon said "There are three courses of treatment for breast cancer-surgery, radiation and chemo and you will need all three." I focused immediately on the chemo and replayed all the chemo scenes from movies--losing your hair, getting sick, lying in bed not being able to do anything. But honestly if everything goes as smoothly as chemo, I will feel very blessed. It hasn't been the easiest road-but I never got sick and although I would be a little tired, sometimes queasy and once in a while would get a headache, I still worked full time, ran after my two little girls and Ben, hosted lots of holiday parties, kept up with laundry, avoided the stomach flu... Bottom line--I survived chemo. And I hope everyone is right, If I can survive chemo, I can survive anything.
Please check out the amazing video my friend's Dreu and Kiley put together at my 5th chemo treatment that talks about my journey with breast cancer. We are doing the 3-day walk in August and are looking to raise $10,000 as a team. Our team name is TLC: Together Let's Fight Cancer (also used to be my initials before I got married.) http://www.youtube.com/cancer3day
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
The Middle Place
My dear friend Kiley gave me a book recently called The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan. Kelly was also in her 30's when she was diagnosed with breast cancer and had 3 and 1 year old daughters at the time of diagnosis. It was a great book and it really felt like I was reading a story about my life. Basically, as soon as you hear the cries of your first born, you are now in the middle place-the point in time when you are both a mother and a child. Who do you want to see first when your new baby is born?--without question it's your mom.
In the past few weeks, I have never felt so much in the middle place. As I was dealing with the stomach flu with Ava, Kalyn and Ben--I called my mom for her support. How do you cope when everyone in your house is sick and you are told by your doctor not to be around sick people? Well, somehow by calling my mom and her reliving stories of when I was little and sick with chicken pox, while moving to a new home and surviving, made me feel better. There was never a doubt in my mind to go to my children while they were sick and to comfort them, give them baths, wash the clothes... I remember when the nurse told me that if my kids were sick that I would have to have someone else care for them--I cried and said that is one thing I can't do. As a mother, when your children are hurting or sick-that is the time you want to be with them the most--and when they want you the most. Fortunately, we all survived and although I was a little tired and didn't feel super great--I never got sick.
As I am nearing the end of my chemo treatments, I am facing all the decisions regarding my future treatment. It's the hardest decision I have ever had to make and it's hard because my mom thinks like a mom, Ben thinks like a husband, and I switch back and forth. My mom would like everything to just go back to normal as quickly as possible and for me to just do the minimally invasive surgery. As a mom, I understand where she is coming from for I know she would be grieving the loss of a part of me even more than I would and she knows that it wouldn't be as easy for me as I would like to think. She hurts when I hurt. Ben, on the other hand, is very supportive and says he just doesn't want me to have to deal with cancer ever again. I again am in the middle and not really sure what to do. I originally thought minimally invasive, but recently my gut told me to meet with a different surgeon and when she went over all my test results some of the test results that I thought were negative actually showed some cancer tendencies. My other doctor didn't explain that very clearly or the implications of this so I was a little in shock when I met with the second surgeon--I just thought I was going to ask her to do my simple surgery. I am thankful to God that he gave me the courage to challenge my first doctor and seek another opinion as I had debated about doing this for a while (I just didn't have confidence in the first surgeon and could never figure out why.) I set up several additional appointments next week to determine which surgical procedure will be best for my situation. The good thing is I now feel 100% confident in my new surgeon so no matter what I know she will make sure I look great after!
When Ben and I went to church yesterday, the topic couldn't have been more timely as it was about prayer. One of the prayers they went over was the Lord's Prayer as many get used to reciting the prayer instead of looking at the true meaning of the prayer every time. They specifically talked about the line "Thy Will be Done" and basically said that no matter what happens-it's God's will that will prevail. Later in the day, Ben said to me in the car "Thy Will be done" and I know he's right.
In the past few weeks, I have never felt so much in the middle place. As I was dealing with the stomach flu with Ava, Kalyn and Ben--I called my mom for her support. How do you cope when everyone in your house is sick and you are told by your doctor not to be around sick people? Well, somehow by calling my mom and her reliving stories of when I was little and sick with chicken pox, while moving to a new home and surviving, made me feel better. There was never a doubt in my mind to go to my children while they were sick and to comfort them, give them baths, wash the clothes... I remember when the nurse told me that if my kids were sick that I would have to have someone else care for them--I cried and said that is one thing I can't do. As a mother, when your children are hurting or sick-that is the time you want to be with them the most--and when they want you the most. Fortunately, we all survived and although I was a little tired and didn't feel super great--I never got sick.
As I am nearing the end of my chemo treatments, I am facing all the decisions regarding my future treatment. It's the hardest decision I have ever had to make and it's hard because my mom thinks like a mom, Ben thinks like a husband, and I switch back and forth. My mom would like everything to just go back to normal as quickly as possible and for me to just do the minimally invasive surgery. As a mom, I understand where she is coming from for I know she would be grieving the loss of a part of me even more than I would and she knows that it wouldn't be as easy for me as I would like to think. She hurts when I hurt. Ben, on the other hand, is very supportive and says he just doesn't want me to have to deal with cancer ever again. I again am in the middle and not really sure what to do. I originally thought minimally invasive, but recently my gut told me to meet with a different surgeon and when she went over all my test results some of the test results that I thought were negative actually showed some cancer tendencies. My other doctor didn't explain that very clearly or the implications of this so I was a little in shock when I met with the second surgeon--I just thought I was going to ask her to do my simple surgery. I am thankful to God that he gave me the courage to challenge my first doctor and seek another opinion as I had debated about doing this for a while (I just didn't have confidence in the first surgeon and could never figure out why.) I set up several additional appointments next week to determine which surgical procedure will be best for my situation. The good thing is I now feel 100% confident in my new surgeon so no matter what I know she will make sure I look great after!
When Ben and I went to church yesterday, the topic couldn't have been more timely as it was about prayer. One of the prayers they went over was the Lord's Prayer as many get used to reciting the prayer instead of looking at the true meaning of the prayer every time. They specifically talked about the line "Thy Will be Done" and basically said that no matter what happens-it's God's will that will prevail. Later in the day, Ben said to me in the car "Thy Will be done" and I know he's right.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
With God All Things Are Possible
"But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible." —Matthew 19:26
As I was sitting in the waiting room yesterday to start my 4th round of chemo, I was a little more anxious than usual. It wasn't because of the impending 3 hours of chemo, but because I would be receiving the results of the MRI I had on Monday. I knew that my fate would be determined based on the findings of this MRI and I had been praying ever since that it would show no cancer (although I knew after only 3 treatments this would be a lot to ask.) Finally when a room opened up to see the doctor, I pretty much rushed to the room. As usual, it was a really busy day for the doctor so the Physician Assistant came in first. I told her I found out I was BRCA negative and then I asked if she could look at my MRI results (I couldn't wait any longer.) She looked at them and said "Negative." I immediately said, "What does that mean?" She said there are no signs of cancer in either breast, no sign of cancer at the spot where cancer was previously dedected and you went from a Category 6 (malignancy dedected) to a Category 1 (Nothing.) She said I couldn't have had a better MRI. I was elated and when she left, I immediately texted Ben and my dad to tell them the good news. When the doctor came in he said I hear you are BRCA negative that's great news and then I asked him if he heard about my MRI results and he said no. The Nurse Practitioner said she wanted me to tell him. So I told him that it said Negative and he looked at it and said you know this isn't ordinary (I think he was a little in shock.) Basically, it is rare for someone to respond so well after only 3 treatments without having surgery first. Immediately, I thought of the scripture reading above "With God All Things Are Possible." I told the doctor that everything I/we have prayed for since my diagnosis, has been answered. Actually, I told everyone around me because I really feel I am a testament to the Power of God's Healing.
After I found out about the results, it made going through chemo much easier. It works! Fortunately, I was able to have a private room this time so I was able to visit with my friends and my mom and cousin who came to visit. The nurses joke and say I have a posse, but it makes chemo go by so much faster when my friends are around.
I will still continue with my final two chemo treatments and have the lumpectomy and radiation. The lumpectomy should be really minor since they basically just go in and double check to make sure that there are no cancer cells hiding. I just look at it as additional precaution to make sure there is no cancer and that it never comes back.
So I guess I could have also titled this Thank You Part II. Thank you God, my friends and family. "With God All Things Are Possible."
As I was sitting in the waiting room yesterday to start my 4th round of chemo, I was a little more anxious than usual. It wasn't because of the impending 3 hours of chemo, but because I would be receiving the results of the MRI I had on Monday. I knew that my fate would be determined based on the findings of this MRI and I had been praying ever since that it would show no cancer (although I knew after only 3 treatments this would be a lot to ask.) Finally when a room opened up to see the doctor, I pretty much rushed to the room. As usual, it was a really busy day for the doctor so the Physician Assistant came in first. I told her I found out I was BRCA negative and then I asked if she could look at my MRI results (I couldn't wait any longer.) She looked at them and said "Negative." I immediately said, "What does that mean?" She said there are no signs of cancer in either breast, no sign of cancer at the spot where cancer was previously dedected and you went from a Category 6 (malignancy dedected) to a Category 1 (Nothing.) She said I couldn't have had a better MRI. I was elated and when she left, I immediately texted Ben and my dad to tell them the good news. When the doctor came in he said I hear you are BRCA negative that's great news and then I asked him if he heard about my MRI results and he said no. The Nurse Practitioner said she wanted me to tell him. So I told him that it said Negative and he looked at it and said you know this isn't ordinary (I think he was a little in shock.) Basically, it is rare for someone to respond so well after only 3 treatments without having surgery first. Immediately, I thought of the scripture reading above "With God All Things Are Possible." I told the doctor that everything I/we have prayed for since my diagnosis, has been answered. Actually, I told everyone around me because I really feel I am a testament to the Power of God's Healing.
After I found out about the results, it made going through chemo much easier. It works! Fortunately, I was able to have a private room this time so I was able to visit with my friends and my mom and cousin who came to visit. The nurses joke and say I have a posse, but it makes chemo go by so much faster when my friends are around.
I will still continue with my final two chemo treatments and have the lumpectomy and radiation. The lumpectomy should be really minor since they basically just go in and double check to make sure that there are no cancer cells hiding. I just look at it as additional precaution to make sure there is no cancer and that it never comes back.
So I guess I could have also titled this Thank You Part II. Thank you God, my friends and family. "With God All Things Are Possible."
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Thank You
It is amazing what little kids pick up on and I was amazed when last week Kalyn started saying Thank You. It was pretty much her 5th word after Daddy, Cracker, doggy and duck. As I handed her something she would say Thank You. I was sort of in disbelief until Ben said the same thing when he handed something to her. As I have mentioned before we have lots to be thankful for and I continue to have amazing friends and family and I am also thankful to God for answering more prayers. I found out that I do not carry the breast cancer gene (BRCA1 and BRCA2), which was the best news because I can't pass this on to my girls. They would have had a 50% chance of inheriting this gene and then if you have the gene you have about a 50% chance of developing breast cancer in your lifetime. It was a very happy day for me. Although in my family, I only have a second cousin that has breast cancer, I was still concerned because it is rare for someone as young as I am to develop breast cancer. I also visited my surgeon again for a follow up and she confirmed that she can no longer feel the lump either so the chemo is definitely working. Yesterday, I went and had my second MRI to make sure that the lump is gone and then I will review it with my doctor tomorrow before my 4th round of chemo. I am just praying that it doesn't show any signs of cancer and that my last 3 rounds of chemo can just be extra assurance that it won't come back again.
My last round of chemo will be March 4 and then we will be going with my parents for a week to Florida. I told my family that it was important for me to take the girls to Disney World (one of my favorite places) so we planned a three-day trip while we are in Florida. I am so excited. We will be staying in the Fort Wilderness Lodge, which is right near the Fort Wilderness campgrounds where we used to stay when we were younger. We used to love camping at Disney in our Pop-Up camper and it will be fun to visit again. After we get back, I will have my surgery. As long as the MRI shows that the lump is either gone or at least almost gone, then I will have a lumpectomy. The lumpectomy is just an outpatient surgery and I should recover pretty quickly. After the surgery, I will have radiation every day for 4-5 weeks. From what the Radiation Oncologist tells me, radiation will be the easiest of everything and I just go in, lie on a table for 5 minutes, get up and go home. He said they are pretty boring in Radiation so that is why people sometimes feel tired after. No more fancy bags with red liquid-Thank You!
My last round of chemo will be March 4 and then we will be going with my parents for a week to Florida. I told my family that it was important for me to take the girls to Disney World (one of my favorite places) so we planned a three-day trip while we are in Florida. I am so excited. We will be staying in the Fort Wilderness Lodge, which is right near the Fort Wilderness campgrounds where we used to stay when we were younger. We used to love camping at Disney in our Pop-Up camper and it will be fun to visit again. After we get back, I will have my surgery. As long as the MRI shows that the lump is either gone or at least almost gone, then I will have a lumpectomy. The lumpectomy is just an outpatient surgery and I should recover pretty quickly. After the surgery, I will have radiation every day for 4-5 weeks. From what the Radiation Oncologist tells me, radiation will be the easiest of everything and I just go in, lie on a table for 5 minutes, get up and go home. He said they are pretty boring in Radiation so that is why people sometimes feel tired after. No more fancy bags with red liquid-Thank You!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Learning to Dance In the Rain
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."
I am not sure who wrote this quote, but it is what greeted me when I went to my doctor's office on Friday. It pretty much sums it up for me. The past month, I definitely danced! As you can see it has been about a month since my last blog update and that is because I have been very busy with all that December brings. As I have mentioned, I don't want cancer to slow me down and I am so glad to say that it hasn't. I think I hosted about 5 parties including a three year old birthday party, Christmas day, a gathering for all of our friends and a few more smaller get-togethers. I loved every minute of it! I was fortunate that I had my chemo treatment on December 10 so that I was 100% the whole holiday season.
Ben and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary on December 13 and it was everything I could have hoped for. A nice day for just Ben and I to be together--we went to breakfast, the spa for 6 hours, a movie and dinner. If someone would have asked us, where we would be in 5 years, we wouldn't have believed them, but I am still the happiest I have ever been. We are right where we want to be and we have two of the most precious little girls and a beautiful home and neighborhood. I still feel blessed to be Mrs. Spencer!
Christmas is one of my favorite times of year. I love gift giving and decorating for the holidays and now with two little one's I love creating new memories and traditions. It was fun this year to go and get a real tree with Ava. We had fake trees for a few years in our other home because we either just got married, were preparing for a baby, or just had a baby. I vowed that once we moved, we would get a real tree. I just love the smell and the experience you can only get with a real tree. So Ava, Ben, my dad and I headed off to the middle of nowhere to find the perfect tree. I spotted it right away and said that is it! It was a perfectly naturally shaped, Douglas Fir. Getting into the house was another story...When you find a tree in the woods, it is always larger than you can even imagine. Ours was about 8 feet in diameter and after we finally got it in our house (a few wall scrapes did occur), we stood it up in the middle of our living room and realized that our tree was as big as our great room. We thought we would have to have a tree in the middle of the room or put it in our front lawn. I thought it was hysterical, but Ben didn't think it was as comical as he started breaking out in hives from the needles. Finally, we decided we had to give the tree a "hair cut" and Ben got the hedge trimmers and trimmed off about 3 feet from the sides. Then we spent about an hour rearranging furniture to find the perfect spot. When it was all up, it was the most beautiful tree I had ever seen even with its new trim. Honestly, wall scrapes and all it is probably my favorite Christmas memory from this year and next year I think we can get a bigger one!
The girls had a wonderful Christmas and Santa was very good to them. Ava got lots of barbies and a vanity for her room and Kalyn got blocks and books and baby doll. It was fun to have Santa come to our new home--he had an easier time now that we have a chimney and fireplace :)
It was easy to forget about cancer all through the holidays. We don't really talk about it and life pretty much goes along the same path. On Sunday, we had Ava's third birthday and our family came to spend the day with her. I wasn't sure if I would be up for another party, but I decided to pull one together for her and I am glad I did. She had a great time and loved being the center of attention-lucky her we sang Happy Birthday to her twice! After the party, it was probably the first time I had cried since my initial diagnosis. I realized now I would have to deal with the cancer again. It was so easy to forget...but that doesn't change the reality of it-I still have cancer.
On New Year's Eve, I had my third round of chemo. When they asked me about this appointment date, I remember thinking briefly should I postpone until the 2nd, but I knew I wanted to stay on the same schedule and get it done with as soon as possible. Ben's dad went with me as Ben stayed home to play with the girls. I went and saw my doctor and he said I was doing exceptionally well. My side effects have been fairly minimal and my white blood cell counts are still good-I am still healthy! After you meet the doctor, you go into the chemo room with all the other chemo patients. I actually feel very comfortable in the room now and I am glad that I have opted to stay in the large room rather than to get a private room. I feel a sense of community and even though I might not talk with the other patients, there is a special unspoken bond. Truthfully, I didn't think I would have any visitors on New Year's Eve, but to my surprise my girlfriend's Kiley and Joey came. It was so wonderful to see them and honestly it makes 3 1/2 hours feel like 30 minutes. I think they are getting more comfortable with their surroundings too! I told them about my New Year's resolutions. They are simple.
1) Cancer free by summer
2) Focus more on Self--I often put my children, Ben and work first and then sacrifice working out, getting sleep, eating, etc. I think if I am happier/healthier, then my kids and Ben will be happier. (This will be a hard one for me!) This is basically another way of saying-I need to work out!
3) Walk in the three-day breast cancer walk--get friends to do it with me! It is coming August 14 to Michigan and I plan to sign up soon! It's important for me to help in finding a cure for breast cancer--however I can. I'll post more info. on this soon.
After chemo, Ben's dad and I went to lunch and then we went to the store so I could get some last minute things for New Year's Eve! I still had lots to celebrate. We had a wonderful New Year's with Dreu, Kiley, Caden and Sedona at our home and I felt great the whole time. We had shrimp and crab lakes and brownie sundae's for dessert. I even made it to 12:05 (and then went right to bed.) It was fun to celebrate the New Year with them-we have sort of made it one of our new traditions and we are so blessed to have them in our lives.
So I am officially half-way done with my chemo treatments--yea! This round was my hardest of all. I was pretty wiped out all weekend, but I was thankful that Ben, my mom and Grandma were around to help me out. The good news is that I am now feeling great and dancing again...
I am not sure who wrote this quote, but it is what greeted me when I went to my doctor's office on Friday. It pretty much sums it up for me. The past month, I definitely danced! As you can see it has been about a month since my last blog update and that is because I have been very busy with all that December brings. As I have mentioned, I don't want cancer to slow me down and I am so glad to say that it hasn't. I think I hosted about 5 parties including a three year old birthday party, Christmas day, a gathering for all of our friends and a few more smaller get-togethers. I loved every minute of it! I was fortunate that I had my chemo treatment on December 10 so that I was 100% the whole holiday season.
Ben and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary on December 13 and it was everything I could have hoped for. A nice day for just Ben and I to be together--we went to breakfast, the spa for 6 hours, a movie and dinner. If someone would have asked us, where we would be in 5 years, we wouldn't have believed them, but I am still the happiest I have ever been. We are right where we want to be and we have two of the most precious little girls and a beautiful home and neighborhood. I still feel blessed to be Mrs. Spencer!
Christmas is one of my favorite times of year. I love gift giving and decorating for the holidays and now with two little one's I love creating new memories and traditions. It was fun this year to go and get a real tree with Ava. We had fake trees for a few years in our other home because we either just got married, were preparing for a baby, or just had a baby. I vowed that once we moved, we would get a real tree. I just love the smell and the experience you can only get with a real tree. So Ava, Ben, my dad and I headed off to the middle of nowhere to find the perfect tree. I spotted it right away and said that is it! It was a perfectly naturally shaped, Douglas Fir. Getting into the house was another story...When you find a tree in the woods, it is always larger than you can even imagine. Ours was about 8 feet in diameter and after we finally got it in our house (a few wall scrapes did occur), we stood it up in the middle of our living room and realized that our tree was as big as our great room. We thought we would have to have a tree in the middle of the room or put it in our front lawn. I thought it was hysterical, but Ben didn't think it was as comical as he started breaking out in hives from the needles. Finally, we decided we had to give the tree a "hair cut" and Ben got the hedge trimmers and trimmed off about 3 feet from the sides. Then we spent about an hour rearranging furniture to find the perfect spot. When it was all up, it was the most beautiful tree I had ever seen even with its new trim. Honestly, wall scrapes and all it is probably my favorite Christmas memory from this year and next year I think we can get a bigger one!
The girls had a wonderful Christmas and Santa was very good to them. Ava got lots of barbies and a vanity for her room and Kalyn got blocks and books and baby doll. It was fun to have Santa come to our new home--he had an easier time now that we have a chimney and fireplace :)
It was easy to forget about cancer all through the holidays. We don't really talk about it and life pretty much goes along the same path. On Sunday, we had Ava's third birthday and our family came to spend the day with her. I wasn't sure if I would be up for another party, but I decided to pull one together for her and I am glad I did. She had a great time and loved being the center of attention-lucky her we sang Happy Birthday to her twice! After the party, it was probably the first time I had cried since my initial diagnosis. I realized now I would have to deal with the cancer again. It was so easy to forget...but that doesn't change the reality of it-I still have cancer.
On New Year's Eve, I had my third round of chemo. When they asked me about this appointment date, I remember thinking briefly should I postpone until the 2nd, but I knew I wanted to stay on the same schedule and get it done with as soon as possible. Ben's dad went with me as Ben stayed home to play with the girls. I went and saw my doctor and he said I was doing exceptionally well. My side effects have been fairly minimal and my white blood cell counts are still good-I am still healthy! After you meet the doctor, you go into the chemo room with all the other chemo patients. I actually feel very comfortable in the room now and I am glad that I have opted to stay in the large room rather than to get a private room. I feel a sense of community and even though I might not talk with the other patients, there is a special unspoken bond. Truthfully, I didn't think I would have any visitors on New Year's Eve, but to my surprise my girlfriend's Kiley and Joey came. It was so wonderful to see them and honestly it makes 3 1/2 hours feel like 30 minutes. I think they are getting more comfortable with their surroundings too! I told them about my New Year's resolutions. They are simple.
1) Cancer free by summer
2) Focus more on Self--I often put my children, Ben and work first and then sacrifice working out, getting sleep, eating, etc. I think if I am happier/healthier, then my kids and Ben will be happier. (This will be a hard one for me!) This is basically another way of saying-I need to work out!
3) Walk in the three-day breast cancer walk--get friends to do it with me! It is coming August 14 to Michigan and I plan to sign up soon! It's important for me to help in finding a cure for breast cancer--however I can. I'll post more info. on this soon.
After chemo, Ben's dad and I went to lunch and then we went to the store so I could get some last minute things for New Year's Eve! I still had lots to celebrate. We had a wonderful New Year's with Dreu, Kiley, Caden and Sedona at our home and I felt great the whole time. We had shrimp and crab lakes and brownie sundae's for dessert. I even made it to 12:05 (and then went right to bed.) It was fun to celebrate the New Year with them-we have sort of made it one of our new traditions and we are so blessed to have them in our lives.
So I am officially half-way done with my chemo treatments--yea! This round was my hardest of all. I was pretty wiped out all weekend, but I was thankful that Ben, my mom and Grandma were around to help me out. The good news is that I am now feeling great and dancing again...
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